Doncha Wish Your Em-ploy-ees Were Just Like Me?....

The time has finally come! Our perfect attendance breakfast. 5 years. Me=perfect employee!
Now, I do call off, but instead of being a schmuck, and sucking up all the free sick time in the world (pretty much its UNLIMITED at my job, there are no rules!) I use my vacation time. And, then I feel guilty! It all started 6 years ago, as an accident. When I first started here, they got a new computer system, so all the old orders had to be re-keyed into the new system. (so, I was in order entry, you gotta start somewhere!) I was a temp for 3 months, then I got hired and started working about 90 hours a week, and that's no lie! I lived here! I made so much money, it should be illegal. So did the government, cus they took half of it!

And, if you call off, you don't get your overtime, and who the fuck do you know that works 90 hours only to call off and lose their overtime? That's how my perfect attendance started. After the first year, it was kind of a little goal of mine. I was horrible in school. Just horrible!

So, what do you get for this giant achievemant you ask? Not much, but it's something! We get a plaque, a spring plant, and a catered breakfast. Then your boss has to give you your award and say something nice about you. They also put your name on a plaque down in our lunch room each year, with your years of perfect attendance. This year I also got $50 to spend on me however I want. I dunno how the company is going to reward me just yet....but they certainly aren't going to be paying a fucking bill!! I'm spending it on something fun!

We kinda wish they would give us like, a day off or something, but they seem to think that is defeating the purpose of perfect attendance. The president made a good statement. That women should get 1.5 days per day at work, cus we not only take care of ourselves, but our husbands and children! AMEN!

I lost my diamond out of my engagement ring! Talk about flipping out! Luckily, I am always feeling it, or looking at it, so I remembered having it the previous night, so it was somewhere at home. We retraced my steps, I was on my hands and knees! It's an emerald cut, so it's flat for the most part. I thought it would be stuck in the carpet, or washed down the sink. We only looked for about 10 minutes, and I found it!!!!!!! On my bedroom floor, right after saying "this is probably a sign that we shouldn't get married, who loses their diamond??????" Then, there it was right after that! CP said THAT was a sign that we SHOULD get married.

So, now I feel naked. I'm wearing my diamond dragonfly on that finger, but it's not the same. You know how you get use to having something on all the time. I dunno when I'll get it back he's taking it to get fixed today. I am sick as a muthafucking dog. My entire body hurts. My head is stuffed up. And my eyes are puffy. I look wretched! My chest hurts, my throat hurts, my eyes hurt! I think I'm getting pneumonia!

To top it off my bunny Chelsea is sick. This whole time I thought it was Boos with the poo problem, but it's her. I spent a half hour cleaning her butt up. Hopefully she can get into the vet asap so I don't have to take her to emergency for $300!!!

Have you ever had perfect attendance? It looks great on the old resume!