I'm Not Fat! I'm Getting In Shape!...

I have a talking Cartman Statue..that says that. Classic!

I got another gift in the mail, this girl, Mon really likes me man, cus this is the second gift she sent me! I love her, as much as I love myself! Thanks ME! (sometimes I'm totally gay, but get over it)

I got my 6-day total body makeover by Michael Thurmond. If you watch Extreme Makeover, then you know, Michael Thurmond is like.. way smart! He transforms people into totally different shapes. It's amazing. The things you can achieve with discipline, and dedication, are amazing! This book promises that you will lose 1 size in 6 days. Of course, the heavier you are the better you will do with results. Before I bought it I spent countless hours online reading user comments. The only people who didn't get results were the ones who didn't follow the menu. Now, before you go telling me all about how crash diets are bad, let me elaborate!

I've tried every stinking diet in the world. I know they don't work! (this includes pills too!) The problem with them is, that I HAVE tried them all, and ruined my metabolism. I lost 28 (not even 30!) pounds since March, which is completely acceptable time-wise. I did it just eating less, cutting down on sugar, and salt, and exercising at least 2 days a week. (hey - I work 14 hours a day!) But, I've hit a plateau for about 2 months now. I got this book to jump start me back into weight loss.

It is designed to feed your body the right way so you efficiently burn fat. I'm only like, 10 pages into it, so I don't know it all. But, you take a survey about eating, and weight gain/loss and it puts you into different categories and body types. Then you follow certain meal plans for each type. And, eat about 6 meals a day. That will be hard for me, but I'm not one to complain about eating! The thing is you have to eat even if you ARENT hungry.

It explains the importance of fat, carbs, and protien, and that you need everything, in the proper amounts. I am telling myself, that it's only for 6 days and I can do it. The hardest will be cutting out salt. Completely. Now, I did cut down by choosing low-sodium foods, and less salt added to things,which I'm totally ok with..... but I more than make up for all that with the friggin' energy drinks. ITS AN ADDICTION!!

I'm hoping that as promised, I will naturally have more energy from the food choices. I believe it, cus I've done it before. I also read that I am working out all wrong. If you have a lot of fat to lose, you should not over-do it. Everything I've done is on the 'don't do' list. Tae bo, aerobics, stair climber. Long, slow, distance is what I am to do. This would explain, why I lost the most weight doing strip aerobics which seemed so stinking easy to me. I thought, I wasn't getting a work out but the key was that I was moving for a long time, and not killing myself for a short time. I also would incline, and run/jog/walk on the treadmill. Another no-no for me. No incline!

DUH!

So no more 30 min fast hard workouts. I have to do at least an hour on the treadmill. I guess, it's a good thing I got my library card, cus listening to books is a lot of fun while walking. It'll give me something to focus on. I'll also have to forgoe taking wknds 'off' from workouts, as I'll have to do 2 long workouts each day, and one during the week. It's only 6 days. You can do it again, and again, Hopefully, this is just the jump start I need. To break me of my carb addiction...which, is obviously keeping fat on me.

I don't aspire to be rail-thin. I'm not built that way. I'm polish. I'm big boned. (lol) I just miss buying off the rack without thinking, how is this going to cover my fat.....

I don't ask for much.

Oh, carbs. How I love thee. You are not bad for me, but I love you too much. Please don't hate me because I cannot indulge in you in mass-quantities. I will still be able to see you a little each day, but I'll have to take turns as to which ones I spend time with. Stay in the cupboards, and I will visit you again. I promise!

What am I doing this weekend? GETTING DRUNK! It's been a while. Me, and a bottle of wine, because I'm poor, and $13 bottle of wine will do the trick faster than 12 beers. (not that I'd drink 12..but I can! I said I'm polish!) I'm also going to see Harry Potter w/WG and my future stepdaughter. I promise, not to be drunk when we go though. This...I *solemnly swear.

Today's Question

What do you MOST need to change in your life?

Aside from the obvious stopping smoking and drinking...I need to quit working two jobs. I find it to be more hazardous to my health than anything else. I'm delirious with exhaustion 1/2 my days. I shouldn't be held responsible for what I do. So...I guess by process of elimination, I need to save money better and stick to paying off large purchases. So THEN I could quit my second job! There!

*For Tayray