Me in a nutshell..Part 1...

I have been compiling a list of things that make me, me. Some I find funny myself, some I feel strongly about as weird as they are...mostly, their food related. I've been working on this for a while now, and feel it is ready for the world.

Forks: I can't stand using metal forks. If I had an endless supply, I'd use ONLY plastic wear..but I don't. I stick to at least only using plastic forks. Now, when I go out to a restaurant, or someones house, I will use the metal ones. I just dont enjoy it at all. If its a good friend, I'll ask if they have plastic. I don't know, this may stem from my huge fear of the dentist?

Eggs: If someone talks to me about eggs being dead baby chickens, I will not eat them until I stop thinking about them. This includes using them for baking. This happens from time to time, and it is known as "I'm off eggs" if I'm '"off'" eggs....don't disgust me further by talking about them. It only takes 1 beak in the yolk to make you believe this too...ok? Wait a sec, Im off eggs! lol! Occasionally I wont even eat egg beaters.

Sheets: I hate folding sheets.

Meat: I blame momma being a vegeterian for this. I am picky about my meat. I don't like to eat anything on a bone. If there is nothing else for me to eat, and I am starving, I will sometimes eat a chicken breast on the bone. I have to pick it off and throw the dead carcass away. I don't like frozen meats (prepackaged) If you buy it fresh and freeze it, thats ok. I don't eat red meat. Once in a blue moon, I will eat hamburgers, meatloaf, or meatballs. I crave it from time to time, when I lack iron. No pork. No steak.

Circular Meat: No sausages, hot dogs, no nothin! (I don't like nothin' shaped like a penis, cept a penis itself)

Canned stuff: I don't think that you should eat things that sit around for years and years. Ick.
I do eat canned veggies from time to time. But I prefer fresh, and a close second is frozen.
I do eat tuna sometimes and that is canned.

Gum: I don't know where this developed, but the mere sight of even the wrappers, grosses me out. I call it a phobia, cus I can't touch the wrapper either. If someone is chewing it, I am secretly wishing I wasn't around. Vomiting in my mind. Forget about kissing me! *GASP!* You should only chew your food, what 37 times before swallowing? Why is it ok to chew on something that collects your spit and food and plaque from your from your mouth all day? I dunno, it's just disgusting! Oprah Winfrey, shares this phobia. I would feel at home on the show, as there is a no gum policy. I might make a sign for my house.
I remember when I was young, it was stuck to a peice of our silverware. A fork. This fork had a rose on the handle. I never used that fork again. I was 8 or under, because my parents were married. I remember like it was yesterday!

TV: I am addicted to my TV. This needs no explanation. Leave me alone about it. I am not a couch potato, I get my shit done!!!!!!!!

Laziness: I find no excuse for being lazy, as I am pretty lazy, yet, I do things that need to be done. If I can do it, you can do it, so get your butt to it and get it done! Quit yer bitchin'!

Pillows: If you have less than 8 pillows don't expect me to stay with you. I can settle for 7, but that is as low as I can go! I cannot function, without my pillows. I need them even if I am sleeping with someone else. 3 for my head, 2 between my legs, and my hello kitty stuffed pillow to cuddle. Then, I need 1 to be in the 'guests' spot, and one underneath that, so if i roll over and forget a pillow (which I am sleep trained to move these all with me) there is one on the other side. We could call this the "pass out clause". When you pass out, you still have to be covered where the pillows are concerned, cus you know you don't move much!
Then, they all have to be fluffed before I can sleep, and placed in their respective spots.

Animals: Animals, whether mine or not, can do no wrong in my eyes. If my dog bites you, I am truely sorry, but you must have provoked her! If my cat scratches you, sorryyyyyy. But I really am not. Animals usually protect themselves. This is my personal opinion, and it will never change.

Toothpaste: Don't use mine. It disgusts me. Don't ask why.

Jealous People: While a small bit of jealousy resides in all of us, it is unnecessary to be off the chain about it. If you are so consumed with the fact that everyone is better than you, or out to get you, this is your issue. You can trace just about every insecurity back to jealousy, or vice versa. I have a tinge of it. It does not rule me. It does not dictate my life. I am secure in who I am to know that if someone has something I want, I can have it too. (no, I do not mean PEOPLE) No room for jealousy.

Milk: I blame Amish in the City for this one. Milk contains cow pus. Nuff said! I use to love me some milk, now, not so much! Yet, I will eat things that contain milk! lol!

Yogurt: Anything that says on the container "contains live active cultures" doesn't need to be eaten.

Popcorn: I cannot stand the smell of popcorn. It nauseates me. I think it comes from working in an office for 11 years. I don't even like popcorn anymore. I will still eat kettle korn, or cheese corn....but not regular. And burnt? Nothing worse than that stench.


Dentist: I have not been to the dentist.....in 11 years. I have a phobia. I never use to, but when I was 18 I had my wisdom teeth pulled. I was awake, no gas, just some novacaine. It was the most traumatic experience of my life. Tasting the blood, having my head pulled one way and my tooth another. Hearing the crunching and cracking as my tooth is ripped out of my head!!!! I had to be re-xrayed in the middle of it all too. I had them removed in 2 surgeries, er, torture sessions. I refuse to go back. No one will make me! It makes me sick to even type about!