"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Gunshots...Rang out Like a Bell! No! They Really Did!

Aside from witnessing some gun blasts in my street, it started like any other Saturday...

I got up with the birds, ate two scrambled eggs, and attended my usual core/abs class, followed by spinning, then as per usual, I headed right to Starbucks for my post-breakfast treat, which is a venti skinny carmel macchiato.

This time they made my drink iced. Eh, not OK. So they made my hot drink right away, and told me to take both of them with me, plus gave me a gift card for a free drink next time for the inconvenience.  I heart Starbucks' customer service! 48 ounces of caffeine in a matter of 2 hours???? Ziiiiing!

Then I headed out to celebrate the birth of one of my BFF's! Mexican, followed by a trillion laughs at the bar, so much so that I was crying, and my stomach hurt. I love girlfriends!

I made it home safely, threw on my PJ's, and was leisurly uploading my celebration pics to facebook..

Then..I heard what at first, I thought was fireworks, because I have never heard real gunfire! But my dog was trembling. And it sounded different. (for future reference, gunshots are pop pop, and fireworks are crack, crack...I've got it down to a science)

Not thinking, I ran to my front window, and witnessed two more gunshots, and saw the blast in the dark, as people scattered.

Um...I turned my lights off, tried to collect myself, and called the police.

I asked to remain anonymous as I have to live by these dickbags that shot their gun off 5 times, and then ran into the house right across from me. All I can say about my local police is that by the time I completed my call, they were 8 strong looking for bullets, and trying to get the guys to answer the door.

Nothing came of it that I saw. They didn't answer the door and about 20 minutes later they all left.

But the experience scared the shit out of me!

I was so worked up I was thankful that my BFF called me after I texted her at 2 am, and then I talked to my Mom for 2 hours (who tried to convince me that I needed to move in with her and find a new apartment the next day)

It's one thing to know that crime happens. But it is quite another to have some delinquents living across the street from you shooting off their gun. In retrospect, I should have maybe taken cover, and NOT gone to the window. I could have been hit by a stray bullet.

Especially since last night my Mom and brother came over, and pointed out that I have a bullet hole in my door frame, about 5 inches from my front window. It was really high up so I didn't see it.

Did I call the police back? Hell no! Of course, if someone were shot I'd get involved, but I gotta live here, and this girl ain't gonna be pegged no snitch, and be shot in my sleep, or have my car vandalized.

What is this world coming to?






Friday, February 22, 2013

How My Mind May Really Be Twisted...


I've been a long time lover of dream analysis. I love remembering my dreams, and finding the symbols in them, and attaching their meanings. Usually my dreams are spot on with what is going on in my life.

I guess until you factor in sex dreams. Sure I want sex...just not with the people I'm dreaming about!

You know you have been single for a while when you start having sex dreams about the most random people you know. Especially when you work with them, and are not even slightly attracted to them. It is really hard for me to make eye contact with them now.

You know you have been single for too long, when your sex dreams include your ex husband of 13 years, who wasn't even good to begin with, but was all you really knew. And worse, he gets you pregnant...children are SO not in my life plan.

You know you may be a lost cause, when you have a sex dream about an ex boyfriend, that is going really, REALLY good, but in your dream, you realize you are single, and there can't be a man in your bed...and for a split second you wonder if you are really recieving some pretty satisfying oral pleasure from him, *or if it is your dog, and even worse yet, you don't even bother to open your eyes to find out!

True Story!!

Turns out, the universe understood my inner struggle, and my alarm went off just in time!

Lucky for me, I couldn't find "sex acts with your dog"  in my dream book. I'm afraid it would say, "you are a lost cause, you should be committed".

Let me be a shining example of why everyone needs a friend with benefits! Obviously, lack of sex can warp a persons mind!

*ehh, no, I do not advocate having sex with animals!


Poor Mr. Magoo, other than being the only "man" in my life, he did nothing to deserve this!

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

When Shit Gets Real..

 
I had my annual free biometric screening at work. No problem, right? I am a pillar of health, I eat right, exercise 6 days+ a week, and I always pass these things with flying colors, and usually get many kudos on how fantastic I am doing!

I will say, I was a bit scared this time around. This time they included a vascular screen, where they take an ultrasound of your major arteries. My Dad died of an aneurysm. I was terrified they would find I had some sort of build up, or blockage.

But, everything was yet again, perfect!

Oh, with one exception. For the first time ever, my blood pressure was elevated. I'm not hypertensive, but I am pre-hypertensive, and that is enough for me!

When I went for my consultation, the first thing she asked after looking at my results, but not reading my history sheet was...."are you a smoker?"

Ehhhh.....yes?

The fact that I am working out so much is forcing my heart to pump even harder into capalaries that I constrict from smoking.  I'm being counterproductive! I could develop heart disease. Have a stroke. Or yes, just like my father, die of an aneurysm. Boom! That just happens, no warning!

Ummm...shit just got real.

I shared with the Dr. my greatest fear of quitting smoking (gaining the 90 lbs I lost back). I smoke way more since I shed 90 pounds than I did when I was heavy. I traded one addiction (food)  for another (nicotine).

So my new task is to find out what I am trying to hide from with these addictions, before I replace them with another.

I have some ideas as to what my inner demons may be. But I am having a hard time grasping it, since I "feel" like such a happy person. I "feel" at peace with myself.

I guess there are some things I have hidden from for many years, and once I start to face them, I am hoping it will set me free!

I am working so hard to be healthy, so I want to be healthy.

This is going to be a long hard struggle, but one that I am ready to embrace.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Cupid's Undie Run..CLEVELAND!



Let's face it, runners are awesome. We like to do something, and we get to raise money doing it! We over doubled the $50,000 goal for our city to benefit children's tumor research. Go, Cleveland!

We made the news!

I've done a lot of runs, some serious, some fun. And this one was really well organized. There were a ton of photographers, plenty of staff to answer questions, easy bag drops/pick up, free parking, pre and post race party in a heated tent, and, of course, lots of alcohol available to get you nice and "warm" before running in 28 degree weather in your skiivies!

 
Best race swag ever! T-shirt, bag and goodies came with registration, skiivies were for hitting a fund raising goal.
 
 
The best part about only running one "mile-ish" is we did it in 8 minutes. My long runs are at about 11 minute miles. So, not only did I have a blast, help kids, and spend a fun day with my friends, I got to say I ran an 8 minute mile!
 
If this race comes to your city GO! It is so much fun! The people that gathered on the streets to cheer us on were the best! We were like a mobile running party, everyone was having a great time, and I only wish it were longer. Except, my legs were numb at the end of the run...so it wouldn't be a good idea!
 
Of course, our hilight was the firemen in their firemen underwear, and firemen hats, running with their fire hose. You gotta love a man in uniform...even if they are out of it.
 
And, I won't lie, you can't be packed in a group of 800+ people without checking out all the guys' packages in their underwear. It made me giggle like a school girl!
 
It's all for a good cause! Anyone can run (or walk) a mile...so, do it!


Thursday, February 14, 2013

The Walking Dead...LIVE for Valentine's!!

I was pretty bummed when one of my BFF's landed a ticket to see The Walking Dead Live from a group of people where one of the participants backed out. She likes the show...but she doesn't LOVE the show like some of us!

Then, days later, she started blowing up my celly while I was working. I kept ignoring it, thinking "some of us are at work".  After the third call, I answered it, dreading some horrible news.....but it wasn't..the group had another back-out...there was a ticket...

FOR ME!



While Norman Reedus (Daryl) did not appear as scheduled, and we were stuck with my LEAST favorite character (Andrea) in his place, it was still super awesome to watch a reel with a theater of fans, and cheer and boo at the good parts!

Oh yes, and to see the cast, and hear their insight on their characters.


L-R Cleveland's own Alan Cox, special effects Greg Nicotero, "Maggie", "Andrea", and "Merle".

We were 3 rows from the last seat in the house, but the tix were FREE and I loved my Valentine's day!




Look at the dead fans!!

The best tidbit I learned was that Andrea will redeem herself for ditching Michonne, and banging the governer in upcoming episodes. Good thing, because the crowd hated her!

Friday, February 08, 2013

I've Been Busy Being Awesome...

 
If there is one thing I am, it's determined. I have bumped back up to visiting the gym twice a day, most days, but steadily working out 6 days a week. I'm working on my distance run for my 15k that is fast approaching, trying to psych myself up for my underwear run in the snow, and I'm LOVING spinning class! It burns so many calories!

I even got one of my BFF's to join me for one class a week! Which makes it even better!

I kinda missed all the time I use to spend in the gym. Not because I like working out, but I do enjoy how amazing I feel from all the workouts, both mentaly and physicaly.

11 lbs down. 13 more to go to lose the TWENTY FOUR pounds I packed back on by eating a truckton of crap over the holidays and being practically a vegetable.

I've been so exhausted latley that I have hardly even watched TV. Unheard of! But for me, being exhausted and sore from workouts is way better than being tired and sore from being fat. (again).

I started making muscle soaks, and bath salt scrubs at home and adding delicious scented oils to them. I'm a regular Martha Stewart! I look forward to soaking away the pain, and smelling like a dream!

As a reward for being awesome for my re-dedication, I bought myself new things. I got a new writing desk for my laptop, and a ladder shelf. Both things I needed, and will need again one day since they aren't real furniture, they came in a box.



Putting them together made me feel like a complete dumbass. Instructions are hard to read, and my toolbox consists of one phillips screwdriver, one hammer, a level, a measuring tape, misc. nails, and gorilla glue. So, I had to make do with what I had. I think paying extra for real wood, fully assembled and delivered furniture just may be worth the wait to save up for.

I also got some booming speakers for my computer. The bass scares the dog. I've been spending so much time making playlists for the gym, and converting all my discs to digital, that I felt it a smart purchase.

I'm now trying to decide just what I want to do for myself on Valentine's day....

Friday, February 01, 2013

Doesn't Everyone Like a Schedule?...



The past few snowy months, have been pretty pathetic on the social front. Part, nothing going on, part people involved in their own thing, big part me not wanting to venture out in the cold, and enjoying PJ time at home with netflix, or watching my fabulously big TV. With...the cats, and the dog.

It isn't like I do nothing, I mean I do have a job, and I do make appearances at the gym every day so I'm not a total slug...but socially? I kinda suck!

It is so easy to get into a routine.

And I do have my weekly plan!!

I know what days I'll run on my lunch break, what classes I'll take at the gym.. and oh yes, my weekend!

Saturday mornings are reserved for a post workout Starbucks refresher, followed by grocery shopping, and then cleaning the house. I then spend my evening cooking the upcoming weeks food and snacks, packaging it for the freezer, and watching movies,  while also doing laundry.

Sunday? Sure, I have no plans, but it is the only day all week I do not schedule a workout, and I get to do nothing and feel OK about it.

Now, it isn't like I'm staving off billions of offers for social activities, it's just that this is what I do until something else comes along.

I just think maybe its time I start actively looking for more social activities, and stop sticking to my routine.





Speaking of not having much of a social life, I heard this song on the way home from girls night tonight, and it reminded me, that love or hate her, this is my town!! (no one but people who live in my area will even recognize this song)