"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Monday, April 30, 2012

So I'm Not an Ironman...

One of my friends from school is on leave from the army where he is a Ranger. He told me he runs my pace and wanted to go on a 4 mile with me while he was here.

He made me bleed. And btw, he does not run my pace. He had a full on catch up conversation about the last 7 years since we've seen each other while I provided one or two word answers or questions in return.

He left me at the last mile to "get his heart rate up" and I found him at the end like 10 minutes later, doing freaking push ups.

I kinda wish my job was to be in tip top shape. But then, I couldn't sit on my ass all day at the office, and I'd have to put my life on the line, so, nevermind.


Saturday, April 28, 2012

Sex, and the City??

It's that moment when....you wake up from a night of drinking in your snuggly new bed, two weeks after you have your new bed delivered, and set up for you in your bedroom...that you notice your "adult toy" is lying blatently on your night stand, in all its colorful glory.

"OMG, when is the last time I used that??"

Your heart skips a beat when you realize that yes, it's been there for several weeks.

And then you flash back to the day of delivery when the guys told you "you were our favorite delivery of the day", upon their departure. You thought it was because you were chatty, and nice, and thankful for your new furniture, and very appreciative of their speedy service....right?

This is not the only time that my healthy sex drive has caused embarressment.

This almost (but not quite) outshines the time the cable guy came out to investigate a problem with interference on my cable line (YEARRS ago!) and he asked "does the interference also happen when you watch VHS?"

You tell him that yes, it does,  and he asks if there is a VHS in the player that he can test.

You reply "yes, there is..."

And he pushes play...

And then it's smack dab in the middle of a porno.

Porno. On TV. With the cable guy. 


It was like I was making my own porno.

Lure the cable guy over with complaints, and watch a porno together, totally on accident, and then, make a porno of your own. (of course this did NOT happen!!)

Clearly, the cable guy still wins out on life's most embaressing moment for me. 

Is it any wonder I don't want to reproduce? I am a complete mess!

Friday, April 27, 2012

Pictures, and a Thousand Words or Something

Here is Mr. Magoo before.

 Here is Mr. Magoo at Gramma's, with his summer haircut, looking like a whole new dog. Of course since the recent drop in temperature, I had to put his sweater on to make up for having him shaved. This is the first time going this short with his coat, and I kinda miss his floppy hair, but he'll appreciate it come summer.


To make up for shaving all his poodle curls off, I got him a new lamb toy that you can see he loves.... Here he says "die, lambie...die!"...

After being shaved bald, my adorable cat society decided Mr. Magoo needed snuggles to stay warm. He totally thinks he is "one of the cats"....Who wouldn't want to be part of this snuggle society? My cats are awesome!

After leaving the gym last week, I had a note under my windshield wiper. I totally thought I got a random note from a secret admirerer at the gym, but turns out, my friends are just assholes!

 I love Aladins! I could eat here every day and love every bite! This past weekend I branched out from the usual dawali, and hummus, and got a chicken salad with Tahini dressing. It was 99% romaine lettuce, with smidge of  "chicken salad" ,almonds, and alfalfa sprouts.... Turns out I love alfalfa sprouts!  My year of trying new things is proving quite beneficial!

Thursday, April 26, 2012

A Letter from My Mother..

Cleaning my spare bedroom recently, (for guests!!) I came across the letter my Momma wrote me when I was 14, as a school project for my time capsule, to be read on graduation day, when I was 18. I re-read it at 36, and it just goes to show, that your Momma knows who you are from the time you are born.

And, here is my letter:

When you read this you will be a senior. By then you may have forgotten the agonies of being in the eighth grade, and being 14 years old. Everything is a crisis for you. You are now, and have always been very dramatic. Being the last of three children , I say you will be the one to give me all my grey hair. We can't seem to get along for any length of time. We are always butting heads. You are a loving child, but also an unruly one. You are a very pretty girl and I hope one day that you will see that for yourself. Right now you aren't very happy with your hair or your looks and of course you say you are fat. 


You don't know that you will outgrow these feelings. You are very unique. As a baby everyone said you looked just like a china doll. I don't suppose I have been much fun as a mother to you. I have raised you alone for 6 years, and so far being a single parent has not been easy for me. I apologize for my phobia keeping me from taking you to places like the mall or the movies. You don't understand my life, or my resentments toward your Dad, (RIP Daddy, who died when I was 23) and I know you have felt alot of pain over that. 


I hope that you will be able to remember a lot of the good things about our life together. Today, you told me I was pretty. You always want to fix my hair and dress me. At this time in your life, your cat Maggie, is a source of love for you. (RIP Maggie Magpie, who also died when I was 23..)


I hope you can one day accept and love yourself. 


Trust in God. he has put you here and you are very special to him. I don't know what you will be when you grow up, you change your mind about careers so often. 


I hope that I will be here when you open your time capsule. If not, please know that I do love you very much and I pray that you will be happy in life. You are a very determined person, so whatever you set your mind to, I am sure you will accomplish. You have a strong will, and although it is hard for me to deal with that, I am glad you are that way. You will get what you set your mind to. Several of my friends, and some nurses at the hospital said if anyone belongs on a stage, it is you because of your dramatic behavior. So maybe you consider acting as a career?


I wish I could spare you any pain in this world but that is impossible. I did the best I could with what I knew in raising you. The rest is up to you and God. He has a lot of beauty on the earth if you just look for it. I  brought you into the world, and in my prayers, I have given you to him. 


Don't ever hide your feelings, they are you. Don't ever think your feelings don't matter, they do. Don't ever feel you aren't important, you are. I pray that you will meet the Lord because in him you will find the best in you. 


I wish you luck in the future. Remember every day to be grateful for something, no matter how small, and you will be happy,. Don't ever settle for what other people say you can have, get what it is you deserve. 


I suppose soon you will be on your own and I imagine the best part of that for you is that you can spend as much time on the phone as you want. 


Stay honest, be true to yourself, show love and compassion for others, but love yourself most of all. Savor each day for what it has to offer. No matter what memories of your family life you carry with you, remember it was all for the sake of love. I know you will be successful. You come from a family of survivors. 

Accept life on life's terms. 

Love, Mom

I get my strong will and determination from my Momma.  I'm lucky to have a Mom that knew enough to teach me to value myself. I always understood gratefulness, mindfulness, and that by putting myself first, I would be happy.

I love my Momma, she is a very smart lady!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Weight Of The World..

I've done weight training here and there.

But it's always been an after-thought at the end of a workout class. Or something I did half-assed at home until it got too hard, and I gave up.

Since taking up two weight training classes, and one plyometrics class I can really see a difference in my arms (and legs!) (Not to mention my appetite, muscles are pigs!)

 Watch out, Kelly Ripa, I'm coming for you!


 One arm, one leg planks=the devil


On a not-so-funny note, after taking an hour weight training class (where we use barbells just like boys do) our instructor had us do one armed, one legged planks for 30 seconds. We started out on our knees, and she decided it was "too easy" and I responded with a "for who??"

My muscles were shaking. And, after successfully doing this on one side....I biffed it. Muscle failure!! 

I fell.

Luckily I was granted in this universe with boobs, which saved me from busting my face, or losing any teeth on the gym floor.


 Skull crushers!

And my pride was saved by someone totally losing their barbell while doing skull crushers. So, I think I can go back tomorrow! 


Getting fit is hard. 

But it's also so rewarding!!


Saturday, April 21, 2012

Race Season Begins..

Our race shirts and bibs were pretty cute! But unlike my first race last year, I did not wear my shirt to the race, according to my running friends, this is a faux pas.

It was a horrible day to run, freezing cold and raining.Some pavement, but mostly trail, which I was not conditioned for.


But I finished! Almost at goal. My official 5k time was 31:59. Two stinking minutes over my goal! Considering the rain and cold, and that parts of it was run on a trail where you were stuck single file behind the person in front of you, unable to pass... I'll take it. I have something to work towards for the next time! .

What really did me in was not having breakfast and running too fast up the last hill, and then dry heaving. I had to walk for almost a minute, until my friend caught up to me and yelled at me. I'm glad she found me and gave me the kick in the ass I needed! She was doing the half, and SHE kept ME going!

As usual, post race I feel fabulous! I can't wait for the next one! At the end of this season, I want to do a 25min 5k, which would be an amazing improvement for me. (This means if not completely stopping, cutting down smoking significantly....gulp....) I'll also be finishing two half marathons. First time out, I have no other goal than to finish them. (and sport the 13.1 magnet on my fusion!)

I had plenty of energy to clean my spare room out and set up my guest bed! Now, I just need some guests!

Friday was spent at a local hot spot for happy hour martini's and fancy food with the ladies. Followed by the viewing of Think Like a Man. I haven't laughed that much at a movie in some time!

How did you spend your weekend?

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Not Giving Up, the Struggles of Weight Loss..





*whispering....* I have put on weight recently. Some was since I started weight training. I wish I could say it is all muscle mass. But it's not. Muscle weighs more than fat, but it takes up less space, and my clothes are quite tight!!

After taking advantage of access to the personal trainers at my new gym, I found out  I am lacking protein, and calories in my diet. I have been on a weight loss diet so long, that the strict 1200 calories that helped me drop over 100lbs is not working for me anymore.

Turns out, I've been starving my body into holding onto fat. Huh?


It is very frustrating after working so hard for so long to drop all the weight only to pack on almost 15lbs in what seems like overnight. I knew I could not sustain a 3x daily workout forever. Finding a balance has proved to be hard, indeed!

The solution? I have to eat more calories, to get back to where I was, to support gaining lean muscle mass. My body burns more calories doing nothing, so kicking up my workouts was actually detrimental to me, without adjusting my calories at the same time as the weight came off.

And running? Ugh.  For something I do every day, I don't love running. I do it for the calorie burn. It was boring, and I counted the minutes of each and every run, until I did my first race! Then.. you get sucked in to the atmosphere, the adrenaline, the excitement from your fellow racers! You find your normal pace group to start out, and then you leave it!! I never believed that this would happen for me, until my best girlfriend convinced me to do some races.


And she was right!

My goal at my first race of the season this Saturday (just a 5k) is to finish in less time than I did my last 5k last season. Which I did  in 30 minutes. 

Any improvement will make me giddy!

The sunshine in the black cloud of gaining weight is that I havn't given up

I am not going to be one of those people that drops all their weight and then gains it back because it seems so hard, and overwhelming. I am going to make the suggested adjustments, and keep kicking ass, the same way I did to lose over 100lbs. Ultimately it's calories in, calories out, and you have to take on more calories, when you are burning more.

In the grand scheme of things, losing the weight was far easier than maintaining my goal weight has been!


In less than 2 months, I am taking my new body to the beach to visit my sister, and this will be the first time since I was 18, that I'm not ashamed of what will be seen! Or even, hate bathing suit shopping!

So... here's to not giving up, trying harder, sweating more, feeling fabulous, and loving how it feels to make MYSELF proud! I am healthy, and  nothing can ever replace that feeling!


Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Stuff I Happen to Love...

  • Having a new bed. Oh yes, I slept, for three whole nights in my very own bed, which I have not done since the great break up with exmanfriend, over a year ago. Sure, I have gone to sleep there a handful of times, but never slept comfortably, or uninterrupted. I spent 98% of my time on the couch! There are no bad memories in the brand new Sealy Posturpedic! Yesss!
  • My new sofa. I feel like a freaking rock star. Nuff said!
  • Plyometrics. Who knew I would start to love the burn? An hour and 15 minute class of just strength training seemed impossible, but I am amazed at how much it is aiding my running stamina, and I cannot wait until I say bye bye to my "bye bye" arms, and hellllo to my rock hard rumpuss, toned core, and calves to be proud of!
  • Martini's! This is my new moscato! There is nothing like enjoying a (very dirty, thank you, with two blue cheese stuffed olives courtesy of Acme #1 in Akron, OH ..holla) martini after a hard day of work, and two workouts. Or, any day for that matter. It only takes one to make you feel fabulous, two to be done, and the calorie ratio to the wine I have been consuming pales in comparison! Score!
  • Being friends with an Esthetician. Come fall, when I cash in my stock savings plan, I'm totally having a makeover, at a great price! Wrinkles? Me? Not anymore! Watch out world, you won't know what hit ya!
  • The dog park. I frequent my local dog park with my handsome Mr. Magoo at the very least, weekly. But they started having "singles nights" every second Friday of the month. Come on, if there was ever a place for me to meet the future Mr. Me, this is it, right? Such an adorable idea!
  • MDNA. Ok, I'm partial cus I have loved Madonna from the start, but this album is awesome. It's totally dance worthy, and I can't wait until I'm shaking it live at her concert in November!
  • Happy Hours. The best idea my only single friend had was for us to peruse local hot spot happy hours. We get cheap drinks, and amazing food that I could otherwise not justify paying full price for! This is the best invention ever!
  • Netflix. I never thought I'd be a joiner, but I have subscribed at a mere $8 a a month and it's a savings when you consider all the redbox rentals I was renting. Plus I get to be in the "know" with series I'd never watch otherwise!
  • Wineries. This is what summer is all about. Wine tasting with your best girlfriends, under the shimmery summer stars. We kick this off mid-May, and I cannot wait!
  • Rockin on the river. I am very lucky to live within 4 miles of the riverfront which boasts free concerts every Friday, complete with canned beer, and a miriad of food truck vendors. This is what summer is all about!
  • Hip Hop Class. I like to think I have some moves, but usually it's because I'm drunk and I don't know better. I recently took up a hip hop class at the gym. It's taught in a club like atmosphere, by disco ball and club lights, it's pretty much the most fun workout I have ever done! And I'm gonna learn that Beyonce butt bounce, if it kills me!

  • Being Single. As much as I miss being in love, my life totally revolves around me. I do what I want, when I want. I answer to no one. If I don't feel like doing it, I don't I'm not obligated! I am almost afraid that I like it so much, I may actually turn into a cat lady one day. I'm holding on hope that "the one" will change that mentality. But until I find him, being single is pretty awesome!

  • Determination. I am so going to smoke my last 5k time of 30 minutes this weekend, because of sheer will!!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

New Things...

I got my new furniture! Before it arrived, poor Mr. Magoo with his structured life, only layed where the couch should be for a day and a half. He says "Where the fuck is my couch?"


Hello new couch, you are gimormous, and beautiful, and comfy, and my dog is terrified of you but I am in awe of your geatness!
Hi again couch, you look just as pretty from this angle! This thing is huge compared to my old couch! My feet don't touch the floor when I sit in it, I happen to love this new sofa. New furniture is pretty bad-ass!


I got a new mattress and box springs too, so my bed is also ginormous.  I couldn't find new bedding in the exact color that I have, which is of great importance. However, I did buy this awesome buddha painting, and it now lives in my bedroom.

Sleeping in your own new cushy bed, with no bad bed karma leftover from assholes you have dated....is probably the best feeling in the world! I think the next guy has to pass a very long test before resting his tookus in this bed!

Who knew buying a new bed would make me re-think who I sleep with? I should've done this years ago!

P.S. only in the ghetto, would someone steal your tattered, nasty ass couch cushions off the couch on the curb that has been sitting out in the rain. I am thinking some homeless guy just got a pimped out new  bed!


Friday, April 13, 2012

Livin High On the Hog...

Hi new sofa, you are beyoootiful!!

Happiness is...buying your very first brand new pieces of furniture. Something no one else has sat their ass on, or now I lay me down to sleep'd in!

I put more thought into the purchase of my furniture, than I ever did any of the cars I have owned! I took this very seriously! I researched brands, stores, fabrics (having pets, makes this very important!)

I've sat on many couches, and lay on many beds. And when I found "the one" I bought all available warranties, and even asked questions about what the warranties cover, to the "T".

Gone will be the days of my sleeping on the couch, and welcome are the nights of enjoying my beautifully brand-new, sealy posturpedic plush bed!

Just like my sister said, I would regret not getting the matching overstuffed chair and ottoman. But to do this, I'd have to buy a flatscreen TV, and new TV stand, and get rid of my entertainment center to make room. Hmmm...

The rest of my bonus is going to be spent on new bedding for my gorgeous bed, and an air purifier, and starting a savings account. (for a trip to see my sister in VA Beach, and yet another vacay Key West!!)

This weekend, I am going to be sleeping on a cloud, and lounging on a couch that doesn't sink to the side when I sit in it. Or have rips in the cushions or arm. I'm even embaressed to take my old couch to the curb it is so awful, and have lined up curb service with a friends husband under the guise of nightfall!

I kinda like this independent grown up thing I have going on. I'm so tired of waiting for someone else to get me where I want to be.

And getting there on my own, is even better!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Reality Check...


I was at the beauty shop this weekend, getting my routine hair color, with high/lowlights while catching up with an old friend at the shop. I love days when my appointments just happen to overlap with one of my girlfriends, and we can catch up.

It's just like the movies...

I was going over everything that had happened in the last 8 weeks since our last visit.

All the dates I went on, people I've met, and fun places I have visited, and things I have going on in the near future. The time I am able to dedicate to working out, and training for the marathon, building muscle, how sore I am as a result, how I'm taking up tennis, and the fact that I get a bonus from work next weekend.

At the end of my appointment, I said "I have so much to do today! I have to sign up for the gym, go tanning, take the dog to the groomer, get my nails done, buy a new outfit, stop at Sephora for my beauty necessities, and get ready to go out tonight".

This was met with a , "must be a rough life"...

Later that night, my biggest decision, was whether to wear gold, or silver nail polish under the glittery new polish I bought for my toes, while I sipped wine, and didn't have to think twice about what to do with my hair, since I had just gotten a blow out, or what to wear because I just bought a new outfit.

I guess it was just a reminder, to embrace my completely amazing life.

Not just my single, child-free status, but the fact that I can afford to do all of those things, and still pay my bills, afford to have fun, have food in the fridge, and 5 healthy pets.

How easily I forgot that only 5 short years ago, I was over 100lbs overweight, worked two jobs from 8am to 11:30pm 5 days a week, and had no money, or time to enjoy myself, and lived on ramon noodles while also caring for my sick, laid-up brother, and paying for his Dr. visits and medications.

Thank you universe, for putting things into perspective for me. I think we all fall prey to life. The more you make the more you spend. The more you have the more you think you "need".

I really enjoyed that moment, it made me stop, and be thankful for all that I have.

It made the rest of my day more enjoyable, and less like a chore.

Life is funny that way.

Monday, April 09, 2012

Sunday, April 08, 2012

Easter Memories...



As far as religion is concerned, I was baptized catholic, and then also raised Christian, followed by Pentecostal, so I have had a taste of all the majors, before deciding on what works for me as an adult. Which is a more Buddhist philosophy.

But we still celebrate the holidays.

Easter is usually signified by the many photos of me, crying hysterically on the Easter bunnies lap. I mean, whose idea was it to dress up like a horror dream character and hold children? (Do you remember ever having a friendly looking bunny in YOUR photos?)

However, my favorite Easter growing up, was watching Jesus Christ Superstar with my Mom. It always came on WUAB around 2-3 am, tuned in, quite staticky, with the rabbit ears. (and we changed channels via a pair of pliers...my how times have changed...) I'd get to sleep on the couch until it came on.

Subsequently, I learned all the words to this opera, and now own not only the record, but the original cast DVD. It is hilarious to watch their meager costumes, and songs in the desert.

Nothing says Easter, like a 70's rock opera!

What is your favorite Easter memory?

Saturday, April 07, 2012

Having a Heart...

There are a few times it sucks to be single. Like, when you have to fix a deadbolt yourself because you live in the ghetto and don't want to wait for the landlord, and all you have is a phillips screwdriver. (btw why is it called a phillips???)

Or when giant spiders transcend from the ceiling.... you wake up from a bad dream... raw chicken needs to be cut up... you want someone to take care of you when you are sick... or you need sex.

Usually, I embrace single. All those things can be done on your own, as much as it may suck. But sometimes there are things that make me wish I had a man around.

Like when I came home to find one of my cats hovered in the corner near the fridge, over a tiny field mouse caught in a mousetrap.

Now, a couple years ago I had mice in the winter, and I caught several of them fine and disposed of them, while I didn't enjoy it, I could handle it. And it didn't stick with me that I was a murderer.

This time, the mouse was not dead. It's little mouse head was just caught in the trap but it was squeaking tiny squeaks of pain, and breathing heavily. After much avoidance, and hoping it would be out of its misery on its own, I had to put on my big girl pants, a pair of gloves and pick it up in a shopping bag, while chanting "omg I am so sorry little mouse, I am so so sorry" over and over.

Instead of disposing of it in the trash, I set it free out in the woods behind my house. I am not sure how free the mouse was, seeing that it was already smashed in a trap.

Sometimes, I do not enjoy my ginormous heart, that embraces all walks of life. Even rodents.

Yes, I understand nature, and the circle of life, and nature states, that cats and other predators should kill mice.

I have four cats.

I am certain I am never going to get the horrific feeling out of my heart. Kinda like the time when I was 7, and I accidentally stepped on a toad, who also did not die, but suffered grave injuries. Or the time I hit a squirrel years back, that ran into my tires while I was driving! I think about these things all the time!

In the end, I have learned a valuable lesson that I can share with other people forced to keep their homes free of mice, that hate to be murdereres.



These traps, are quite easy to set, one touch, and quite convenient. But obviously, they do not kill very quickly, and cause them to suffer.

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Inergalactic Planetary....

Everyone likes spooning!

I recently outed myself on facebook.

I post more pictures of my pets than most people do of their kids. (In my defense, my pets are far cuter than most people's kids...just sayin')

Operation, be more social, is on this summer's agenda. Really, I need to get out more!

I've filled up the next month with activities, in an effort to see, and be seen!


A trifecta of animals. I have the most awesome pet society...

Sometimes I wonder why I am still single, because, obviously, hanging out with your pets is pretty sweet right?!

You should watch this amazing rescue video if you love a good story!


P.S. I am not the least bit sad that in a few short weeks, this ragged ass plaid couch from 1990 is leaving my house, and I will have a brand new grown girl's couch in its place. I'm movin' on up!!

Monday, April 02, 2012

I'm Still Swimming in the Dating Pond..


I was called over to a coworkers desk during a lull today. She started asking me about dating. Since I'm the only single girl in the department that is actively dating, its fun for them to keep up with my goings on.

"Have you heard from schoolfriend after breaking it off?"

No
.

"What about..?"...(making a gesture to signify someone I dated..)

No
.

"Have you heard anything more from that one guy you met recently?"

"No, but he did tell me to call him if I was still alive, since I had to cancel our date due to the flu, but I didn't feel like calling him back"


"What about TDH?, anything more from him?"

"No, I quit responding to his texts, because any opportunity for conversation turned into wanting to know why I didn't want to date him exclusively, no matter how many times I said it wasn't happening for me."

"Has (an ex from a gazillion years a go that has recently turned up again, along with his fiance and 3 kids....some things never change) called you again?"

"No, I told him that I have more self esteem than to stoop to screwing around with someone else's baby-daddy."

After my inquisition, I thanked coworker for reminding me of my long strand of bad dates this this past year.

Isn't this suppose to be fun? Aren't your 30's suppose to be your PRIME?

I mean, I'm not getting any younger. I'd like to find the future Mr. Me while I still have all my teeth, and the ability to hilight away any gray hairs. Before I lose my charming girl next door looks, and the ability to wear a tank with a built in bra....without a bra.

I havn't given up on love. Quite the contrary. I am actually, just a woman that knows exactly what she wants. Looking for her little tadpole in the dating pond, who knows what he wants too.

The tadpole, that wants to swim around with me in the scummy dating pond, until we decide to become frogs...together.

And besides, what I want can't be put on paper. It can't be explained. I don't even know what to say to people when they ask me.

It's a feeling....

A knowing....

A spark....

As long as I don't settle, I know that it will come into my life.

Here's to endless optimism, and a true belief in happy endings!

Sunday, April 01, 2012

A Boring, Domestic Post...


I didn't win the Mega Millions. So didn't about 800 billion people. I guess that's OK, because having to work for things, and struggle at times, has made me the person I am today, and I kinda like her....(insert cheesy smile)

Plus, knowing that I get to see Madonna in November....kinda makes every crappy thing in life seem less crappy!

I am feeling better since my brush with the near-death flu. I didn't work full days when I did go back to work. I tried, but they sent me home, because I looked too sick. Gee... thanks?

So I sprung into action this weekend. I had no plans. Sometimes this is just what the Dr. ordered. I spent my Saturday purging my house of crap I had held onto needlessly. For instance, I threw away exactly 15 pairs of running shoes.

I have the hardest time letting the shoes go, simply because they have met their mileage. They still looked perfectly new!

In the end, I wound up with a ginormous trash bin full of crap that I had been afraid to throw out for one reason or another. Some of it was exmanfriend related. If I didn't know better, I'd think it was multiplying! It seems like every time I do laundry there is a sock, or each time I clean a drawer, there is a pair of boxers.

If I knew why I (maybe subconsiously?) held on to these useless things of his, I'd be selling books, instead of still being single, and searching for my happily ever after!

In spite of it all, I wiped down walls, baseboards, scrubbed the fridge, cleaned cabinets, pantry, swept the basement, and shared back porch...and finally, got rid of 7 sizes of clothes I'll never, ever, fit into again!! This is about the third purging of clothes I've done, and I hope it's the last.

I feel so free now!

My cash money bonus at work, is on the horizon... so...a new bed and a new couch will be mine in no time!

Not to mention new summer clothes for the new summer me, to fill up all that empty space!

Spring is all about new beginnings.

Man...I feel like a woman!