"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Not My Best..

I tried to go back to work prematurely, as I often do. My boss told me to go home and only work half a day, because I looked too sick. The girls all said I "looked thin" and they wanted my illness. I said "Uh, no you don't, it's not worth it!"

Mind you, I'm off 4 days now on my marathon training. So I thought, I'll go home, sleep a few hours, and take kickboxing. I feel fine now. I'm just tired. I can do it!

I am raring to go in class. I get about halfway thru, and then, the instructor got blurry. I could hear her but she sounded distant. She seemed to be in a tunnel...My mind raced... "omg I'm going to pass out, stay present" I tell myself.

I actually pinched myself to not pass out. I kept breathing away nausea...half-assing my kicks, until finally, I had to rush out of the studio to the bathroom, and... blow chunks.

My chunks didn't even hit the toilet, they were all OVER the toilet. Cleaning them up was super awesome.

Lesson? Listening to your body is really important.

If your body is tired, let it rest. It's way better to take it easy than to yack all over your gym bathroom.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Sick Day...

"I wanna play!"

I contracted a horrid cold with fever over the weekend. I missed my miles, a date (nothing major) and I had to call off work on Monday. I hate calling off work.

While I drifted in and out of consciousness, between netflix marathons, vicks fusion doses, Progresso light chicken noodle soup, and liters of water, Magoo was angry at me for not getting him out of the house for a walk.

He took to stealing my afghan, several times, as portrayed in this photograph.

Oh I'm sorry, did you need these tissues for your sore nose?

So after drifting back asleep, he woke me up by the sound of ripping my puffs plus out of the container, one by one...I rolled over, and said "really Magoo?" then I snapped this photo... he yawned , and walked casually to the end of the couch, and jumped up for a nice long nap.

Reason 567,898,736 not to have kids, if this were a human child.. after the first time I ignored his attempts to make me play, he'd have gotten under the sink and eaten the miracle grow, or drank my boxed wine, then I'd be missing even more work due to jail time.

So, ummm....I'll take my one eyed, 19 toothed, afghan stealing, puffs plus eating, rescue shih poo...any day!

Here's to good health!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

One week down...Nine to go...

What have I been up to? Well, pictured is my 10 week schedule to condition my whole body in time to do a half marathon.

I am still having trouble adjusting from such a strict (1200 calorie) diet, to adding in more good fats, proteins, and carbs to sustain all my workouts. I keep coming in under my calorie goal each day due to workouts, and that won't help me with my secondary goal of losing 15lbs in the process.

I'm tired, I fall asleep around 9 every night, but I'm not dead, and I have the drive to keep on keepin on!! I have caught a freaking cold which I fear will slow me down next week.

So for today, it's a netflix marathon, progresso light chicken soup, and robitussin. Rest, and relaxation at its finest!

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Training Day...

Yea, so..I'm in training. "I can't be out late, I'm in training". "I worked out three times today, I'm in training." "Wine 5 nights a week? Not anymore, I'm in training." And my most favorite...."Carbs? Yes please, I'm in training!!!"

This training thing makes me sound awesome, right? (wait til I start in with my Madonna concert countdown if you want annoying)

I have officially started my 10 week training schedule to get me to my 13.1 miles. Suprisingly I have to run less often than I do to get there, and progressively add distance to meet my goal. Kinda like losing weight, and having to eat MORE food to get there. Weird.

On the days that I am forced to rest (I take rest by not running miles, and still getting some cardio/strength training in because I still have 20lbs to lose) I joined a gym close to home!

I really thought I was in pretty good shape. Running 4-6 miles a day 5-7 days a week, and having been thru bootcamp, sometimes running twice a day plus a bootcamp class... I mean come on, I felt bad-ass!

The best advice anyone has ever given me? If you think you are in good shape, try something new.

I started a plyofusion class at the gym. Which is as you may have guessed, a lot of the plyometric stuff in P90X plus some cardio, thus the "fusion" (like my cute little car!!). It's recommended for training athletes and I can see why!

I left about 2lbs of sweat on the floor, along with my ability to stand up and sit down without an audible "owww owwww!!" Just like the beginnings of bootcamp, this horrific pain too, shall pass!

We actually used barbells. Like boys use. You know those things weigh almost 50lbs on their own, right? We did an hour of weight and core training. An hour of weights. When I am accustomed to 10 minutes at the end of a workout class with 8lb weights. Driving? Painful. Using my Tivo remote? That hurts too!

I cannot wait to see how my body changes as a result of all the conditioning I will be doing. I am once again living at the gym without much time for socializing, but you know what? It's something I love to do, that is making me feel even better!

I can hardly believe that a little over a year ago, I lived my life laying around the house complaining about being "so tired". At least now when I'm exhausted, I know that I worked my ass off to feel that way!

And that my friends, is worth all the sweat!

Sunday, March 18, 2012

On Meeting Bret Michaels For the Second Time...(but...not really)

I've only been out to the bars, a couple of times as the "new me where I've lost half a person's weight" that didn't include dancing at our favorite gay bar.

It was great fun meeting new people, and getting digits. Whaaat? (I'm pretty aware that this makes me sound 17, but I really don't care.)

Those "digits" will probably just die with this blog post, but nonetheless, it was still a whole new world for me. Fun as that stuff is, at the end of the night, I don't think the future Mr. Me is going to surface at an Irish drunken festival downtown.

This schmoe was at the bar we started at. All the drunk fools seriously thought this was Bret Michaels. Ok, maybe he resembled him, but they all called him Bret. And did body shots with him, and had photo ops. (omg Bret Michaels...)

Before even going out, I received this guys picture on my cell phone from one of my bestie's stating "Bret Michaels is at the Barley House". She loved him more than I did, so I was surprised she fell for it!

But, ummm..question....where are all his tats? Perhaps I hadn't had enough green beer to fall for it like so many before me. And most importantly, why the hell would Bret Michaels make an impromptu stop at a random downtown Akron, Ohio bar on St. Patrick's Day? Not like he had a concert or anything??

Having met Bret Michaels, myself, and having been on his tour bus, I'd have to say, this was the biggest laugh of the night!

How did you ring in St. Patrick's Day 2012?

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy St. Patty's Day!

I am actually going out on the town tonight with my lady friends! Where my biggest decision, with an unheard of 80 degree March day in Ohio is....do I wear jeans, or shorts? I don't want to be hot once I put on my "beer coat", but I also don't want to be the loner in shorts. Decisions!

I also ran 6 miles on this gorgeous day in preparation for green beer, and have already instructed the girls, that under no circumstances are they to drive me to any fast food joints no matter how convincing I may be.

The worst drunken decisions I seem to make, involve food, but it could be worse! At least I know I'll be snuggled up with the dog tonight!

Be safe!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Bird or Statue, They Both Kinda Suck...

I heard recently, that in break ups, you are either the bird or the statue. You either do the shitting, or you are shit on. (conversations at work are just awesome!)

I broke things off with school friend. Not very easily, and with much thought, mind you. All of the reasons were feelings' based. He did nothing wrong, couldn't have been any different at all. He's an honest-to-goodness amazing guy!

But, when we weren't together, I didn't think about him much. I didn't wonder when I would see him again. My heart didn't "ping' at the thought of his phone call, or a date. While we had amazing conversations, and tons of fun together, I didn't have that longing feeling about him, that I didn't want him to go home at the end of a date. I tried to wait it out, and see if feelings developed, but as time went on, I felt more like I was leading him on, and lying to him.

Did I expect to be in love after a month? No, but I did expect to have the first stages of dating excitement about someone, and that never seemed to happen.

I know what makes my heart sing. And while he was pretty ticked that I ended things, I felt I was doing him a favor. He can find someone who will appreciate him, and that just wasn't me.

I do want to share my life with someone, wholeheartedly...but I want it to be because I am excited about it, not just because "he is the kind of guy I should be with". Or because "I don't want to be alone".

This is all a part of the dating game I guess, it's still all new to me. I know what I want, and I don't feel like I need to waste time on anything I feel is less than everything.

Some would argue that I am missing out on a good thing by having unrealistic expectations. I don't see my expectations as unrealistic. And honestly, at this point, I'd rather be alone, than to settle for less than what I know for sure, I want.

Being true to myself and my feelings, is pretty refreshing!

And just as the many times before, I have my own life, and my own interests to keep me occupied until "what happens" .....happens!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Beach...It's is all about perception...

This year, is my first official "race season".

I will do my first half marathon in May this year, at the Cleveland Marathon (mostly, I'm super excited to display my 13.1 magnet on the pretty white fusion!!)

As much as I still can't believe I'm a runner, I still can't believe I get caught up in all the "race" hype, but... it is oh-so-much fun to be a part of race day! And until you do it, you will never understand!

Run to the beach will be my first race this season on April 21st. I'm only doing a 5k, which is a cake walk, (I was afraid to try anything before my half but this will be easy! And my MOM is coming to watch me!!) and it's benefiting the fireworks I grew up watching. A few years back, they were in danger of not having fireworks, but now I get to be one of the citizens that helps to make it happen!

In the little city (Akron, OH) this is our beach. (It's not near as big as the 'big city' Cleveland's Lake Erie...) But...we have swimming, and lake bars, and boating and it's "ours" and we love it! I grew up swimming here every weekend! And in my latter years, spent many nights having dinner, and cocktails on the lake bars' patios, with the warm summer air blowing, and music blaring with all my awesome my friends!

One of our favorite local "haunts" this is the upper deck!

And a personal favorite is Hook Line and Drinkers. They have the best bands, and the best outdoor deck!

If you want to support a great cause, at a great lake, and have fun in the meantime, you can still sign up to run to the beach!

Otherwise just check back for an amazing race update!

I am so excited!!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Trying new things...

This probably looks kinda boring and/or gross. But it is not! I have been hearing about **kale chips forever and a day, and their delicious "chip like" snackability. Like most people, I thought it was the dumbest thing I'd ever heard.

But I tried it! And, no, it isn't as good as a (baked lays, or pringles) potato chip, but it is a good snack!

I made mine in the oven with a little olive oil, onion, and garlic powder, and a dash of salt.

Of course, you have to enjoy vegetables, because it isn't a real life junk food. But, it is something different! I highly recommend trying this!!

And secondly, After a sweet chardonnay, and two plum wines, I tried shrimp at the hibachi for the first time in my 36 years, and I just might try it again! It wasn't horrible, or fishy, as I had thought!!

I also finally went to a wine bar. That is located 2 miles from home. I've never been!

Who knew trying new things wouldn't kill me?

**Kale chips

1 bunch of kale
1tsp veg oil (i did this twice, the first time this didn't seem like enough oil, but trust me it is. otherwise you get soggy kale)
salt, seasoning to taste (salt after, before, brings out the moisture and you get soggy kale)
I cooked mine in a single layer, (stems removed) on my pizza stone
350 20 m but keep an eye on it, once the edges brown take them out and let them set

There are a ton of ways to make this, so just find what works for you! I have made these three times this weekend!! YUM!

Friday, March 09, 2012


I was tagged! By Jas!

I suck at reciprocation, which is probably why I'm still single, but I love to participate, so here goes...

11 Random facts about me, oh my...

1. I have a disdain for metal forks, and I prefer to use plastic when available. So what?

2. I hate gum. The thought, the sight, the smell....get away!

3. Ever since I started eating "clean" I have an unhealthy obsession with the FDA website, and telling everyone what disgusting things are in their foods. I don't suggest starting down that path!

4. I fancy candle making!

5. I'm a planner. I like plans. I have to work in my workouts to make up for calories consumed, and all the hours it will take me to be presentable, and most importantly, what the fuck am I going to wear?

6. I really don't mind cat hair. I do make an effort to remove it from my clothing when I leave the house, and I do sweep, and clean my furniture, at the very least weekly, unless I'm getting company.. but when I'm in my comfy clothes at home, I could care less. If you mind cat hair, you mind me..and move on.

7. I don't want kids. Mostly, because I'm afraid how much I'd fuck them up due to my lack of patience, not being able to leave the house and lock the kid in the kitchen with a potty pad, and the inability to clean someone else's snot and vomit. GROSS!

8. I'm a movie junkie. I've probably seen whatever you ask me if I've seen. I watch anything once.

9. In 2005 when I started blogging, I asked a much smarter friend..."what's a blog?"

10. I attribute my sunny personality, and positive outlook on life, to the great Dr. Wayne Dyer, and his amazing teachings. I found what worked for me, and I transformed the person I did not like, into the girl I am proud to say, is ME! I never in a million years thought I would get so many messages about how I am inspiring. Who...me??? I LOVE it!!!

11. I believe in happy endings. And I can't wait until I find my very own happily ever after!

Here are the questions that I would ask people: (and so I'm answering)

1. What was a moment in your life where you truly felt you were cheated?

Cheated on? Oh, I have a gazillion stories. I still have yet to figure out why I pick losers with no self esteem, who feel the need to spread their shit all over town. But cheated? Oh gosh, for a while I felt cheated when my job was eliminated after 7 faithful years of perfect attendance (YES!) But then I got a way better job at a way better company making twice what I made, and I didn't feel cheated anymore.

2. Do you get along with your parents?

My Momma is like a best friend I tell her everything! My dad died when I was 23.

3. How did you get along with others as a child?

I did pretty well. I always took my clothes off. (according to all the family friends, and former baby sitters) so who wouldn't think I was a good time? I was born on the day of the exhibitionist - true story!

4. Any particularly interesting habits you do when you are bored?

Interesting? No. But I make up songs based on real songs, and sing them to my dog, inserting his name into the mix! My favorite is to the tune of "winnie the pooh" and it goes "Willie Magoo, Willie Magoo, silly willy nilly all stuffed with fluff he's Willy Magoo, Willy Magoo, silly willy nilly old doooog". Or, to the tune of Eddie Murphy's "party all the time" ...."Ma-goo likes to potty all the time, potty all the time, potty all the tiiiiime".......Yea, I know it's sad...

5. Do you have any good impressions? Of who?

Randall. Of You Tube infamy. I can't get enough of this guy and this is my favorite video which derives my favorite phrase that I impersonate......."ohhh shit, says the monkey"...I've been in this monkey's shoes a few times.

6. Favorite movie - why?

This is hard. I own over 200 movies, and I watch a new one every night. But for today I'll pick Say Anything. Because every girl wants her Lloyd Dobbler to profess his love in her front yard with a boom box and a trench coat, and "in your eyes" blaring shamelessly for all to hear!!

7. Have you ever found yourself obsessing over characters in your favorite books/films?

Who..Me? I obsess over every character that I fall in love with. Most recently, it's Jessica Lang's "Constance" from American Horror Story. I'm so sad I'll never see her again.

8. Most audacious thing you have done to date. Go.

After looking this word up, I've decided I havn't done many bold things. I can't even call a boy when he asks me to. I'm kinda lame! I guess after meeting my future husband after a concert (Edwin McCain) trying to follow him into his hotel with my sister, and being stopped by security is kinda ballsy for me.

9. You notice a child being picked on in elementary school. It is your time to be that cool grown up to give advice/help out. What do you say/do?

One day, you are going to be awesome, and these schmoes will be working at Wal Mart while you have a career, because what they don't know, is the shit they do and say to you makes you stronger!

10. Have you ever taken the blame for someone else's fart to save them from embarrassment?

Heck no. I claim mine, you claim yours!

11. What was the first time that you felt truly special?

When I made it into the local paper for being student of the month, and my dad clipped the story and showed me. That felt pretty awesome!

Monday, March 05, 2012

The Day before the day my dreams will come true...

On this moment in history....I have done the unthinkable. What....until now, I have only hoped and dreamed of. A dream I have had since I was just a young girl, before the evils of having boobs, and periods got hold of me....

I am the proud owner, of a lower level ticket, to see my all time most favorite person in the world.......MADONNA!!!!!! This is the best $192 I've ever spent. And if I'd had more time to plan (or available credit) I'd have gotten floor seats, but guess what? I'm going! And I paid with cash money!

Sadly, my friend that was going to go with me tried to talk me down to the nose bleed seats, and cheaped out....which um, was not happening. I told her nocando! So I made the big girl decision, to go to the big city solo, and see the show.

Even sadder still...our company suite was NOT available so a suite upgrade is not in the stars. But guess what? I'm going!

I figure, anyone else willing to shell out that kind of money for a concert, is going to have one thing in common with me.....a life-long love of the Material Girl, and I'll make a friend or two! I'm already perusing cute tops at Madonna.com to buy and wear!

So, all day long I told every passer-by at work that I got tickets to the Madonna concert, a minimum of 10 times. Most of them didn't care. But I did! I broke out in random dances, and squeals throughout the day, and all in all...annoyed the living shit out of my coworkers. But this is why they love me.

I told them they only have to put up with it for 249 more days...it'll fly by!

And in closing, if you want to know what a sweet guy school friend is, he offered to drop me off and pick me up, so I wouldn't be afraid...which for him, would be over an hour and a half drive. He makes it hard to keep my heart on ice for sure.