Thursday, May 29, 2008
I lost 2lbs. Finally. After busting my ass weeks with nothin, it budged. 20 more to go. Well, one more size will make me happy. I have some new pet peeves. Men who grunt in the gym. Shut the fuck up. It sounds like you are taking a dump. I also cannot stand when they drop their weights from 4 feet in the air onto the ground. BOOM! It damn near makes me trip every time. Plus, it interrupts my Dr. Phil watching. Dicks! And, there is this one bitch who chats on her cell phone while she leisurely rides the stationary bike. I'm hoping tonight, I have it all to myself. Usually Friday's I am the only one in the gym. I love that!
The boy and me have an ongoing joke about drugging each other w/pumpkin seeds. Being that, you know we met on the internets, and my family was positive he would chop me up and put me in the trunk. It came about that he would drug me, then it turned into me drugging him with pumpkin seeds in his wine since I live "in the country" and that's probably what "the amish" would do. So, we always say we're so nuts about each other, because of the pumpkin seeds. Mostly, I put seeds in his food and drink. He said Wed. night that it had nothing to do with the seeds. Which was only totally adorable.
Last night, I mentioned that I had put them in his beer, and he said I didn't because he opened it. I told him I did and had them in my purse, did he wanna see? He told me birth control and breath mints don't count. I happened to have a packet of seeds from earth day, their sunflower seeds. They are tiny. And, the packet is opened, and unlabeled. You should have seen the look on his face when he said "You really have been slipping me seeds, what do they do"?! I think for a minute...he really believed it. He had me laughing, and misty all at the same time. He's somethin else, that one!
In the morning he texted me that my cats needed food, when I got home last night, he had broken up dog treats in their bowl for them. If you know me, this is equal to tryin to be my baby daddy. It was so adorably cute. He said he was going to make them breakfast but Fozzie was being picky. I can just see his sweet little butt talking to the cats while they obviously cried for him to feed them. Keeper. I told him he is on cute overload and I might have to eat him or something. I know that sounds weird but I totally could.
BTW, when I fed the cats after work, they did the famous cat move. You know, cry like you havn't fed them for a month and then look at the food once it's there and think...."Ok, the food's in my bowl. I'm going to go lay on your pillow now and lick my ass".
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
I went to see Indiana Jones (eh, not fantastic) and Iron Man (awesome!) at the drive in with my brother and Kat. I almost lost two buttcheeks due to frostbite. Ok, so it wasn't that cold, but it was cold enough. I think in the 30's? And we sat in our lawn chairs. Wrapped in blankets, with hoodies up. Brr. Me and Kat also spent time re-arranging most of my moms household. She wasn't home, and we laughed our asses off doing it. I saw two falling stars. I made two wishes that I had previously made on another falling star. I'm pretty sure the universe already knows what's up but I guess I like to think I have some say in it.
I couldn't wait to see that boy. He said the same thing to me. It's nice to do your own thing, but always in the back of my mind I wish he was there. Or, I wish I got to go home to him! He said he had a suprise for me, and I was like yea, I bet you do. Wink. But he got me a necklace with 'love' in chinese characters. I thought it was the cutest thing in the universe. And I got a few compliments on it already today. We spent a few hours in bed. Noooot just doing thaaat ya pervs, being close, and kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and talking about our weekends! It sounds like he had a lot of fun with his peeps. We headed over to his friend's house Sunday Night for a few drinks.
I love waking up with the boy! I feel like I'm 16, and I get all goofey and I can't stand it! I smile, and I giggle, and I want to drug him and take him home and never let him go. Heh, heh. Yea, I know that sounds crazy. Uh, but, I'm totally sane.
Sunday we were interrupted. Ahem. This is like, the second time this has happened at his house. The first time, we were at least finished. This time, not so much. The boy told his friend it sucks that he was on time. He and his girlfriend finally caught on, and they offered to go get hot dog buns so we could have some um, time....All the more reason we need to get the hell outta dodge for a vacation, where you can put a sign on the door, and have all the time you want, without worrying about work, or interruptions, or schedules. Cripes, I need a vacation like that!
Every time I leave that boy, or he leaves me I think before hand, this time I'm not going to get upset. But I still do. It's just like when you visit family and have to leave and you feel like you aren't going to see them for a long time. It hurts me to go. It doesn't put a damper on my entire evening, I just have to feel that little bit, and let it pass. It's love. It happens when this bug bites you, and if I'm lucky, it's effects may be life long.
I may have found a winner on the apartment front. Gotta call this week and see if I can get in to see it. It's 2bdrm, 950 sq ft, washer/dryer, yard. Not sure about pets but it came up in my search for places with pets. So, it probably costs more. It's 13 miles from work, so about 20 min closer to my guy too! Send me good vibes! It's going to be a treat trying to coordinate a move with a lease. Having to pay my rent, plus the new rent and a deposit, but I'm positive it will all work out as it should.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I wrote a post a while ago on how to marry a man. While I did it for entertainment value, and a little bit of, um, "what the fuck is the deal I'm a great catch" - on the side, I've gotten some emails about the topic, from women wondering the same damn thing.
What the hell IS the hold up?
Well, you can always go with the old stand-by from your Mom, that a man never buys the cow when he gets the milk for free. And, you should stop giving the milk. But, then, if you're like me, um, you might turn into a super bitch without giving the milk, and then no one would even dream of marrying you, let alone date you, and then well, it sorta ruins the whole point.
Some people think that you shouldn't live with a person before marriage, because then they wont want to marry you if they find out your annoying habits. Huh? This sounds like trickery to me, and if someone pulled that crap with this girl, I'd be pissed. And I'm a lady! As if hiding annoying or intolerable parts of yourself until marriage is going to make them less annoying and more tolerable? Dream on. Having been married, I can state that things get harder when you are married. So if they are hard to begin with, that won't change.
Why are men committing less? Prostitutes? Strippers? Skanks who screw anyone with a penis? The grass is greener? The grass only seems green, once you get there, you find out it's rough, and scratchy, and wasn't worth the headache to jump the fence. Is it their single friends? What is the big deal with commitment?
Me? I personally blame Hollywood. Not the city, the people who live there, and the fact that whatever originates there seems to catch on all over the world. It's the latest craze to live together in sin and not get married. (of course, I don't really think this is a "sin", people) And if it's good enough for Goldie Hawn, and Oprah, then it had better be good enough for all of us. Right?
You know what the difference is? They are bazillionaires, and I think that it's all about money, and assets. I dont know anyone who has such assets that need protecting. And who would want to marry someone who valued their posessions more than the love they have for you?
I guess that I'm old fashioned. I still think about "happily ever after". Growing old with someone, as my husband. The difference between the girl in her 30's and the girl in her 20's is, when I was 20 I wanted to be married because it was the thing to do. And, until recent years, I wanted to get married for the sake of being married. Now I have learned that it's not worth the headache, and struggle to get married if it's just for the title. I want it because I want to be bonded with someone who wants to be bonded with me. I don't think of it as a religious thing, or just a peice of paper. I don't want to be bitter one day, like most married people who say "why bother getting married". Or complain about how bad, and boring marriage is. That's a sure sign of a couple, that never should have gotten married to begin with.
Marriages aren't bad, in my opinion. It's the people who decide to get married for the wrong reasons that make them bad.
Monday, May 19, 2008
When we got in and I saw where we were seated..it was even better. We had an awesome location! You could have thrown somtehing at him, if, that's what you wanted to do! Here are some pics from the event. Click for larger view.
We had a lot of fun! The most interesting part of being at the concert, was going outside to smoke. Mind you, smokers taxes paid for the arena. We had to stand in a long line, to EXIT the building, and get a stamp to stand in a sectioned off area. We waited probably 5 minutes in line just to get out. Re-tar-ded. We ate fancy turkey sandwiches, and had free beer, and our own private toilet. I swear when I'm rich I'm gonna have me a suite for concerts. That's the only way to roll! Private pissing is way important!
When the concert was over we hung out and finished our drinks. Then my BF drove the girls to their car, and they followed us to a bar for his friends going away party. Ladies got in free. Music to my ears. It was like a club. It was on. I hadn't been out dancing in forever, and I wasn't feeling that well, so I only had a couple drinks. I still got out and cut a rug. We danced so much, our heads were soaked. I tore it up with the man, and we bumped and gyrated to quite a few songs. I never danced like that with a boy. I felt like my virginity was taken away. Ok, so I'm not so virginal, but whatever. I wont mention who but someones friend worked the stripper pole so well the DJ thanked her. Big cities are like the devil to a young girl from a small town.
We made out in the parking lot too. It was a blast! We flirted the whole way home and talked about how much we like each other, and how we are going to live happily ever after (well, in so many words) We didn't get to bed til about 6 am and we closed the bar at 2. I dunno if you could imagine what we did for those 3 hours after we got home, but it wasn't reading the bible!
Friday after work I met the girls up at the winery again. I had a jam packed weekend of fun, and today? I feel like a big swollen asshole. And, I can't imagine a swollen bunghole would feel very good. I have a horrid headache/sinus pressure, bloody snot, and a fever. I'm going home soon after I finish proofing some work for the girls. Yesterday I slept most of the day at the boy's house. He made us breakfast and he gave me an ice pack for my head. He's only the cutest ever. I'm glad he's mine!
Join me later in the week when I try to act like it doesn't phase me that I don't get to see him until Sunday. *Gulp*
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Reason 654,789 not to have kids. They interrupt your GD sex life, and make your cats jealous!
When I told my boyfriend about it, I told him I might be crazy, for dreaming I had his baby that was a cat, but he's crazy too cus he loves me. He told me the only girl he'd have cat's with is me. See why I think he's adorable? He also said something about our being more intimate and maybe some biological stuff in there too. But that wasn't as cute, so I skipped it.
I like to analyze dreams, like how I use to eat fish food all the time in my dreams, and forget to feed my fish. That I don't have. But, cats in dreams, if you are a cat lover *raises her hand* signifies an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power.
One of these days, I might link all my dream posts. I found a bunch I have saved in my drafts too. Their hella crazy things.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Then I started to be honest with myself. No, it's not OK if you cheat on me. Lie to me. Hurt me mentally or physically. It's not OK that you expect me to take care of your every need, yet can't even listen to me when I need to talk. It's not OK that you make fun of me for laughing, or crying, because you numb your feelings with drugs. Through all of this, you come to learn what certain things you will or won't accept in a person, if you let yourself. I actually made a list which was part of the whole "Secret" journey Im on.
I thought more about the topic, because it was on an episode of Til Death. Eddie visited his friend, who was married for the second time. His wife was really cool, and smoked cigars, and left the room so he could hang with his friends, and alerted him to "boobies" on TV. The friend told him he learned his lesson with his first marriage, and made a list of what he did and didn't want in the second one.
I always knew what I wanted in a relationship, but I never allowed myself to believe I could have those things. The Secret teaches, you can have everything you want. There is enough to go around. All you have to do is believe you can have it. My list is pretty easy:
- Sense of humor/laughs at my stupid jokes
- Likes animals
- Nice butt/attractive
- gainfully employed
- has goals/not content to let life pass him by
- gives me butterflies!!
- not a drug addict/alchoholic
- has friends/social
- strong/not just the body but not a wishy washy person
- good kisser
- Not religious
- good cook
- Makes me laugh
- Knows what he wants, and when he is not getting it
- No kids
- Likes to travel
- Can talk for hours about anything
If you'd have asked me before I started to work on myself, I have no idea what I would have said. Because the only common denominator in guys I've dated is they have had drug/alchohol addictions, and they treated me like shit, and used me. I keep journals, and looking back, there were bright red screaming flags at the beginning of all of those relationships. Now, I see those as deal breakers. I learned to trust myself. My gut. Know when something isn't right, and tune in to my intuition, that I believe everyone has, but they second guess.
And, in case you were wondering, yes, my boyfriend is everything on my list, and so much more! That's what makes him so special to me. You know when you have something good, because you don't question it. I was forever questioning myself in the past. And fighting. Two things, I can say are not missed in my life!
Thursday, May 08, 2008
And then the stories came out. People were actually pissed off, they couldn't get their 23 cent pizza. Seriously? As if Thursday, were the only day in all of eternity you could indulge in pizza? What posesses one to stand in line, for three hours, for one pizza? Is the economy that screwed up? And, why weren't these people working? You should totally watch the video I mean, it's pizza dude! And not very good either. It is as my girl Kat put "good when you're drunk". And if I know anything about Ohio, it's full of drunks. And stupid people who go on the news and say "I'm doin' it for Lebron". He doesn't give 2 shits if you stand in line for 3 hours, he's livin it up in his mansion, with a private chef. Dumbass. It gave me some good laughs while I watched the news. People proclaimed they were "a part of history". I can't imagine how much free publicity this has given Papa Johns.
This public outpouring took me back to my Taco Bell days. Firstly, my friend Katie brought up that when we gave out free light tacos (remember light tacos?) and we ran out, the kids in the projects threw rocks at our windows. People don't mess around with free shit, especially when you are directly located in front of the projects, where we were proud to have worked.
What it reminded me of, was how I always got screwed as a shift manager working close (which was like 9pm-6am) with one other person. In the projects. We all know where you go after the bar, Taco Bell, you aint foolin' nobody. When you are making tacos out the ass and dealing with irate stupid drunk people, you tend to run out of things. Like, say, beef, or chicken. If you try to tell people you are out of something they get hella pissed. Even more so, when they are drunk. There were many times, I turned out the lights, and pretended to be closed until the meat was done. What the hell did I care, I made 8.50 an hour.
I suspect, Papa John's just took their phones off the hook because if I worked there? "Whoops, I accidentally knocked the phone off the hook, my bad".
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
You know, this insessant dialing of Papa John's, is taking me back to my psycho teen days, when I would call my boyfriend non-stop. You remember, back before call waiting? "who's he talking to?" "Get off the phone". Then, when he got off, I'd yell at him, and then he'd be pissed at me. Hecks yea, I was that girl alright! Actually, I was that girl until I got divorced. I also dated untrustworthy assholes, so it's a toss up who was worse. Or, it's like calling the radio station to win a prize. They finally answer and you hang up, cus the sound of the ring scares you. "Mother. Fucker!"
I got a mean charley horse last night. I dunno why either. I drink a buttload of water, and have 2 bananas a day. I started doing intervals on the treadmill which is 2 min at 2%, then 2 min at 4%, then 2 min at 6% all at 4.5. Lemme tell you it's a nice challenge, but it burns the buns, and the legs. I have to start changing what I eat because I'm not losing any weight working out at 1-1.5 hours 5 days a week. I even stopped drinking thru the week. What more does the universe want from me? I'm even eating meat!
I'm so tired.
I had a lovely evening with the boy! He is totally cute! I love that I get the butterly feeling when I see him still. I love that looking him in the eyes makes me googely. I love that he kisses me on the forehead, and blows on my forehead when I'm sweaty, always covering my eyes which is just the cutest thing in the world. We talked about my new job, and how I'm having trouble being the boss and a friend, and I have to be a boss and not a friend. It's hard. But I'm working on it. And he is a good person to talk to. You know he paid me an exceptional compliment and said that I am him with boobs. I think he's awesome, so that works for me. He also said one of the things he liked about me was how hard I worked to get where I am. It's so nice to be valued by someone you love. Nothing like it.
This morning was no different. On my way into work, the hiway is down to one lane. Has been for oh, 3 months now. Signs clearly posted miles ahead, merge right. Left lane closed ahead. But you always have that one fucktard, who thinks they can beat you to the front of the line, so they can hurry up to be stopped first in line, rather than 4th or 5th, because really, that matters.
I drew this nice diagram to illustrate it for you.
You know, how sometimes the semi truck driver will sit in the left lane to stop dicks like the "asshole" shown here, from running to the front and then slowing traffic when they have to merge in with the people who can read? That's what this "truck driver" was doing. There was a van in front of me, and then, you see me. There was also a line of folks behind me who could also read. "Asshole" was pissed first, at the truck driver, and kept weaving into the orange barrels, trying to go thru them so he could pass the truck driver. Nevermind that the road is torn up, he had a cavalier.
When he was unable to go thru the cones, he then started flicking off the truck driver. The van in front of me wasn't letting him over, and that pissed him off too. He had another guy, and a chick in the car with him. So, "asshole" was not only endangering his life, but that of his friends. Awesome. So, finally I had to let him over because he was totally trying to run me off the freaking road. I kept an assured clear distance as seen in this photo.
He rode the van's ass for a couple of miles, all the while flicking him off out his sunroof, which was freaking retarded. Once we were on the open road, he cut people off, almost causing a pile up, so he could zip in front of the van. Then, he proceeded to chuck things at him out his sunroof. First being his supersized soft drink, which totally missed the van, and hit my freaking car. Well, the pop did when it burst on the hiway. Then some trash including an oil can, fast food wrappers, and what looked like tupperware. The van tried to move lanes, nope, asshole had to move in front of him with no regard for the billion other people on the road. Did I mention they did this all at 90? I know because I was in hot pursuit until I realized, I was going 90 in a 60, and had to simma down.
Here's how I stayed calm. My Chakra suite on the CD player, my Buddha. And Ommmmmm.
Friday, May 02, 2008
Add that to them not re-hiring any secretaries in the department. Taking away all the statistical reporting we do, and not adding it back even though there is a week we have nothing to do and I've begged for more work. Today's meeting with my new big boss, revealed 1) he's pretty awesome. 2) he wants to have succession plans in place, much like we do for our stores. He said he expects me to take my bosses position, and I'm to prime someone to take my position. Yea, like that could happen with who we've got. But, I like a challenge. He likes that I have been creating manuals for my, and the secreterial positions. Bonus points for me!
I found out that most of what we do, reporting, is going to be given to other departments. They want the secretaries to do nothing. Mail, phones, and uh, be happy I suppose. I guess it's fitting, since those girls (cus I was there) don't get paid squat for the skill level you are expected to have. Another thing changing is in the future we will have a web communications department. *angels sing* Of course, we have information going to the web, and the intranet, but this is going to be reporting to the web. I happen to love that sorta thing, and I made this known in said meeting. There was also mention of coordinatiors positions being available in the future as well. I've also heard for the bazillionth time, the company isn't doing bad, their being smart so we don't do bad. Which is good to hear.
New girl? Better. I've attached myself to her, so the times I'm not in meetings, I'm mostly sitting at her desk. I addressed the fact that she takes no responsibility for mistakes she makes. And, that telling me "I don't know" or "I have no idea" when I ask her why something happened is no longer acceptable. Yea, me, I said that! I had my boss sit in on the meeting, and we got to the bottom of what is going on. She's afraid to ask the same thing more than once, and sits in confusion for hours at her desk. She would tell me she got something, and didn't get it. So, I've asked her if she has it now, if she says yes, I make her show me. Usually she can't. But, we're working on it. I've answered her phone calls so she can focus on one thing at a time, and she's shown improvement after doing the same. Thing. Yay for me. I have hopes that with weekly meetings, and daily training and repetition, I'm gonna make this girl a superstar!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
I got to see my guy last night. I dunno how to contain my excitement about it. You know he showed me a picture of the Cleveland sky line, explaining to me how the streets run around the terminal tower, which is like, the center of Cleveland, and I said, wtf is the terminal tower? He couldn't believe I didn't know what it was, so I asked him if he knew the Akron Beacon Journal building. He didn't. That's our landmark in Akron. Big/little city. Silly.
Anyway the point was, he showed me a picture in his camera of a blackboard and it said "I heart Mon". He said "did I show you that?" I said no, at first I thought it was mine at home that he wrote on, (and I still have) but the walls were paneling. He said he did that when we went to a little bar in Amish country, when we got a cabin for my birthday. I told him he was the cutest ever, and got all shy the way I get when I feel inebriated with love. I happen to have done the same thing in the girls room, that same day. I miss him so much when we're apart, and he told me he feels the same way, and thought he may never feel like that again. It's like he's finally getting the effects of the love bug. The love is there, but the side effects took longer to manifest for him. He actually tried to help my horrible, aching feet. If that doesn't spell keeper, I dunno what does, because my feet are tore up from the floor up!
In other news, we are having yet another meeting with the new girl. This is an entire post in itself. We have been attached at the hip all week. If she wants to have some time alone at work, she's going to have to do her job right. Otherwise, it's me and you babe. Love it.