"Choosing trust over doubt gets me burned once in a while, but I'd rather be singed than hardened." -Victoria Monfort










Thursday, June 01, 2006

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid...

One night we were talking a group of us, around the fire. The guys were discussing about porn. We all laughed as we talked about different terms for a 'money shot' and whatnot. Us girls got a kick out of how the guys knew all this special terminology. For porn. Yea. You should always be proud you know what a rusty trombone is. (gross!)

Then, one guy said something about those women with grotesquely (is that a word?) Huge breasts and how it is nasty. Another guy said "I like small tits". Then CP pipes in "Me too, A or AA!!!". Mind you, I'm sitting right next to him, sporting my double D's.

So, I pinched him, discreetly, and said that's a real nice comment to make right in front of me and my friends. He then told me, "I like yours too". I know we all like an ideal man or woman, but you don't mention those ideals in front of the person you are with, and her friends.

So, I told him that would be like me saying 'ideally I like big cocks, but yours is ok too'. Because honestly? But do I ever mention that? No.

Get the picture? After that he was mad at ME for it. Because I turned it into a big deal. I insulted his manhood. Maybe I did, but I am the one who felt insulted. He is honestly the first guy I have personally dated, that has ever not liked ample breastage! Then, one of the guys kept saying, "Boobs are a bonus, if you got em you got em".

Some things are just better left unsaid....another example:

My ex TWDSO was really excited when Debbie Gibson was in Playboy. TWDSO had to countdown the days until Debbie was in the magazine. "15 days til the new Playboy...14, 13... he said that shit to me. Every. Day. Like I cared. The day of the release, he emailed me at work:

"Debbie Gibson comes out today I'm so excited! I'm going on my lunch break to pick it up!"

I replied:

"(so and so joe schlong) comes out today, I'm so excited"

He asked me if it was a CD I was buying. Who is so and so joe schlong? I just took my happy ass down to the adult book store on my lunch break, which is way classy btw, and got a Playgirl. After all my girlfriends got a kick out of it, I laid it around the house every day with the buff men and their huge packages face up. Since, He read his Playboy in bed next to me, I found this an even trade.

It wasn't the playboy. He had hundreds of them. It was that he had to go out of his way to tell me every day that he couldn't wait to see some other chick naked.

It's not the fact that men do this stupid shit, for me, it's when they have to make it a big deal. It's ok to watch porn, or look at playboy, whatever. What you do in your spare time is your business within reason. If you want to jerk it to someone else, don't tell me!

But don't have guy talk in front of your girl, and don't tell her how excited you are to see another chick naked. Or how you prefer small breasted women, when clearly your girl is NOT! Thinking it, is one thing, saying it to her is another!

When you ask a guy what he looks for generally, it's physical. Hair color, breast size, thin, thick, complexion etc... When you ask a woman, generally it's a personality. Sense of humor, caring, kind etc...

We are far more likely to overlook someones appearance, than men are. I'm not saying that men don't, but not as often as women. We talk to the guy that doesn't catch our eye, because he makes us laugh. Guys tend to talk to the girl who catches their eye, until she talks. How right am I?

15 comments:

Tayray said...

It is mostly looks that a guy will look for in a female. I agree with you. As for today's whole post, I agree with it all!!
Guys make comments about how cool it would be to date a girl that likes sports, etc.. and when that wish comes true, they get scared!

mrsmogul said...

Haha good post! Yes....a friend of me and my husband's said once in front of his wife about another woman.."she's hot"..it was really weird!

Dana said...

I have come to the conclusion that men just can't help being idiots. My husband, bless his heart, can't seem to understand that not every minute of the day is a grab-the tit-time. Ya know, sometimes I like to have my tits to myself and not have them touched. Duh!

Men!

Dave said...

You ladies run the sex department as far as I'm concerned. I tried to once and it ended in disaster :)

But Mon, NEVER talk down a guy's penis. Not in jest. Not ever. It's probably better that you pretend like you don't know what a penis is :)

You are going to have to do a lot to make up for your little slip up. Good luck :)

supplymadam said...

Sometimes men can be insensitive. I think because they believe women are a source of strength to them and sometimes they are like the children so they feel we can take it and they get a pass because hey they're only "little boys".

hot for jr. said...

DAVE - WOMEN ARE JUST AS SENSITIVE ABOUT THE WAY OUR BODIES LOOK AS GUYS ARE ABOUT THEIR PENIS. DON'T EVER COMMENT ABOUT A WOMENS BODY OR HOW BADLY YOU ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING ANOTHER ONE NAKED. THAT IS A HUGE SCREW UP AS WELL. IT'S ONE THING TO DISCUSS HOW ATTRACTIVE ANOTHER FEMALE IS WHEN YOU ARE IN A COMMITTED, SECURE RELATIONSHIP, BUT EVEN THE MOST SECURE, FIT, PUT TOGETHER WOMAN HAS INSECURITIES ABOUT HER BODY. IT'S A 2 WAY STREET!!

Dave said...

JR you are right. But missed the point. I haven't "screwed up" (in a while anyway). Mon did :)

Now Mon can try to justify that what she said wasn't that bad, since men do the same thing. Or she can be apologetic and help CP get over it. I think the latter would be much more helpful to their relationship.

Mon said...

Tayray: all you can do is be yourself!
mrsmogul: they just dont think before speaking!
dana: ITA, it's in their genes!
dave: i dont feel bad for what I said. I didn't say it in front of people. It hurt my feelings, and he couldnt understand why. When I made that comment, he got it.
jr: how true! we are just as insecure. Even models will tell you the same thing. I watch a lot of TV. I hear them!

hot for jr. said...

Dave - I don't think I missed the point at all. CP screwed up first.

Dave said...

It's not about who's right. It's about apologizing for what both of them did wrong.

Dave said...

coninuing--the question shouldn't be whether Mon or CP's feelings are hurt. They sound like their feelings were hurt, regardless of how strong they are trying to sound now. Nor should the question be whether men are worse than women or vice versa.

The question should be: How did I hurt this person and how can I make it up to them?

Mon said...

We kissed and made up on Sunday. Simma down now! The hardest thing about relationships, is that you have to learn that things that are important to you won't be as important to someone else, and to validate each other's feelings. We've done that. You're right dave, it is about finding out what you did and how to make it up to them. Two wrongs don't make a right. We're pretty good at talking through our problems, without fighting.

Chandira said...

LOL... How true. :-)

I had my own version a second ago with a guy in our office. My boss and I (female) are both going chocolate free right now, and it's killing us. So office guy comes down, sits ON my desk, and chows down about 1/4lbs of chocolate. AS I'm reminding him of our girlie-pact and how hard it is. Go figure..
Guys, here's another one, please be aware that some women diet, for some odd reason, we actually want to look good for you, so please don't eat like ravenous wild dogs in front of us. Thx. ;-)

Rachel said...

You are totally dead-on. Keep it to yourself! It's called tact, guys! Also, why is it okay if I agree another woman is attractive but not okay if I point out an attractive man? DOUBLE STANDARD

Dave said...

mon--glad you are both feeling better about the incident.

chandir--go ahead and call an overweight man a fat ass. Just don't talk about his penis :) Even when women say its big, I feel like they are saying it so I'll like them more (they are controllers--grin! ).

rachel--Al Frankin (on SNL in the nineties) explained it: women tend to be monogomous cause they want security during child birth; men were born to pollenate the earth. YEAH!! You are the flower, we are the bees. It's just the way it is :)